Month: September 2014


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Full Of It

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How are you? ...Good

It’s been a day full of panic attacks.  Each one starting as the last ended, or maybe just one incredibly long one.  Days like these happen every once in a while and I’m through trying to fight them.  I’m just going to breathe and wait for it all to pass.  That’s all I’m writing today.IMG_3841-0.JPG


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Overdose or Suicide?

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I’ll make this short. About 5 years ago, my family and friends staged an “intervention” for me, and I went into rehab. I missed my senior year in college, my final collegiate basketball season, and most of my friends. It was dark. Lonely. Scary, and hopeless. Inexplicable. It was like – people were scared of me – to ask how I’m doing. “How’s rehab?” is not a great conversation starter. People stayed away.

I hated everyone. And I felt abandoned. And I cried everyday. But, I needed it. I still abuse drugs, too often, but, I needed it. It DID help.

My close friend, we’ll call him Matt,  just overdosed on heroin, last night. My close friend, we’ll call him Travis, overdosed in July. My friend, we’ll call him Bryan, hanged himself in April.

Why? I’ve thought about suicide…a lot. Did I take drugs to die? To escape? I don’t…

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I often wonder…

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Mimi Words of the Day

If my life would be easier if I no longer exist.

I can’t handle all the stress and terrible luck that follow me around. Everyday it feels like the universe is throwing obstacles my way to see how much more I can take before I crack under pressure.

It’s hard for people to understand the difficulties that come with mental illness and why it seems better to just give up on one’s life. You’ll never understand it until you go through it yourself. Even if you’re used to witnessing it, you’ll never truly understand the extent of unhappiness we suffer.

I am speaking out for the one in five people that are diagnosed with any sort of mental illness; whether it be depression, anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, or Schizophrenia. There are many stigmas that come with mental illness and I hope to break them all. A person doesn’t have to be covered in scars or…

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Why Have a Healthcare Team?

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Finding Joy Again

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, my psychiatrist and my husband were the only people that knew. And only my psychiatrist and I knew what meds I was on and why. My family physician didn’t know and I didn’t have a therapist yet.

I read an article about the importance of sharing information between doctors so that they and I would be my healthcare team. A loved one (my husband) would also take part and be prepared to act as an advocate in case I can’t speak for myself. This really made me think hard.

Why is it so important? Most of us don’t have doctors who talk to each other. My family physician knows my diagnosis so she can be aware of improvements or declines in my condition. She also checks my thyroid and cholesterol levels along with a few other tests to know whether or not…

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