Month: November 2014

Uncomfortableness and PAIN, acceptance and PEACE

Thank you for sharing.

bipolarbearbecca

Today was HARD. It was emotional. For many reasons, some of which I can write about and some I have to hold in confidence, which is fine, the nature of some of my work and my natural inclination allows me to have practiced holding difficult things. However, all of it together, its A LOT. And alcoholics by nature SUCK at being uncomfortable. Exhibit A: this post. I’m uncomfortable and feeling well, many different emotions, thus I had to get them out by writing. Gahhh, I hate emotional pain. physical pain is SO MUCH EASIER TO DEAL WITH. Man, makes me miss drinking, numbing. I’m sitting here having a nice cup of hot tea on a cold November night, and its comforting but I sure wish it was vodka that would lead me to NOT FEELING all this shit. I’m hurting, I’m really hurting. I’m hurting for myself but also for…

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I Want to Cut

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The Depressed Christian

I want to cut. I want a way to deal with the events of the day. Unfortunately, there is some blood draw at work tomorrow. I still have marks from last week’s cutting but I think I will be all right. I can pass them off as cat scratches. But there is no way that I will be able to hide fresh cuts tomorrow.

I hate how I am dealing with my life’s problems with a pair of scissors.

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Cold in the desert

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This Sick Foundation

Tonight I am face to face with my darkness, I have failed to rationalise these emotions so I can’t deny them or tuck them away. All at once tonight, everything I have been repressing surfaced again. My body feels weak like the misery is pulsing in my veins and seeping into my bones and I swear my heart is burning a hole in my chest.

Alone in this, that fine line between alone time and loneliness has overlapped. I wish I had someone to pour my heart out to, I am in need of human touch… a pat on the shoulder, a hug, a cuddle, warmth, understanding and love. I know now that saying I need these things doesn’t mean I am weak, it just makes me human.

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Tomorrows a new day. Day 1

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tahnerak's Blog

Today’s been pretty bleak, couldn’t even bring myself to go outside the house.
I’m functioning, drifting through my daily tasks but my heads it in it.
I feel drained emotionally and physically, like someone’s turned the light out.
I started sorting my bedroom out, I started cleaning the kitchen, I started reading a book all left half finished.
I eventually gave in to the darkness and climbed into bed.
Today has been a shit day and tomorrow can only get better.

Oh one thing I did manage is to contact a second addiction centre about a voluntary placement. Hopefully when or if one of these comes off I’ll have more focus

Tomorrows a new day, a blank page and il going to drag my butt out of this house if it’s the last thing I do

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New Counselor

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Where people of mental illness can come together

I told you guys a couple of months ago that I had lost my psychiatrist of 4 years, I also told you how it made me feel. I was really stressing about getting a new counselor, I was even contemplation on just giving up and not going to another one. Well, I reconsidered and decided to give it a go, I got into a new indian clinic and was set up with a male counselor, to tell you the truth I hated male counselors, I never had a good experience with one. But I gave this one a try, he looks like Robert Blake, and even sounds like him, so in my mind I pretended that I was talking to Barreta himself. He let me talk for the whole hour, I just spilled out my guts, I gave him a shotgun blast of several things that were bothering me. He…

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